Well last night (Saturday night - the 19th, or maybe early in the morning of the 20th) it started out especially rough with a sore, semi-thrown out back. Between that and a major canker sore brewing in my mouth, I was having a hard time getting comfortable in my own bed.
At some point during the night I drifted off into dreamland, and in the wee hours of the morning I awoke from the most wonderful dream! I dreamed of my baby girl. I saw her face (but who knows if its actually her face) and she was so little. And she was wearing pink! She smiled at me and cooed and we all were so in love. Her age and birthdate mimicked that of my niece (can you tell I had just had a lengthy conversation with my sister-in-law about Maleah?) but there was one piece of evidence, a sign as I call it, that was very unique.
We were driving home from the airport. Monkey was behind the driver seat facing backwards, as he does now (I can see this clearly as if I were in the passenger seat, turned around to talk to him). BG was behind me, and although I couldn't see her face, I could see her beautiful chocolate hands gripping Monkey's sippy cup. She was completely content, even though we had assumed she would probably cry in her carseat, being the first time she would ever be in one. Monkey was the one screaming - angry at his sister for stealing his milk. I was on the phone with someone, explaining that things were going better than I had imagined and I was sure Monkey would adjust to having a baby in the house soon. And I was nervous (here's the sign) because it was snowing and it was starting to stick, making I-5 a bit slick.
I know you all are probably thinking I'm crazy, to make something as simple as snow in my dream mean something. But I can't even tell you - this peace washed over me as I was dreaming this...like our princess is coming home while its snowing. She'll be home this winter! Of course, this is nothing I know to be true. It kind of defies the timeline AGCI has given us. But I kind of feel like God has given me my "due date" so to speak. I guess only time will tell.
I can't wait to have her in my arms. It really seems like that day will never come, but I know someday I will look back on this waiting period and how fast it all really went. I mean really, does it seem like its been 10 months since we've made the decision? 8 months since we announced our plans to adopt? Part of me answers yes, I feel every day of that wait. But the other part of me knows it feels like yesterday. God's timing is perfect, and I have to have faith in HIS plan.