"How are you doing?"

This is a question I hear a lot lately, for pretty obvious reasons.  Don't ask unless you're prepared for the answer...or for tears...or for a sarcastic laughter that attempts to hide the tears.

How am I doing?  Well, it's been 17 months, 3 weeks, and two days since we started this adoption journey.  It's been 9 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days that we've been on the official wait list.  I've seen "deadlines" that we have set for ourselves come and go with not even a glimpse into the reality of when that referral day will actually be.

Ever since Christmas we've been patiently waiting for that rush of referrals we keep expecting.  It's now the second week in February and we've had...maybe two???

We've had our hopes dashed time and time again, and yet somehow we press onward.  Why?  Because our daughter is waiting for us on the other end.  Because I would cross the ocean time and time again to bring her home (and realistically WILL).  Because God has called us on this journey and each day when I think I can't possibly wait a moment longer...He is teaching me to be more patient.

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same

When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray

And I want you more than I want to live another day

And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

{Lyrics from Brooke Fraser's "Faithful" which you can play below on my playlist}