Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"How are you doing?"

This is a question I hear a lot lately, for pretty obvious reasons.  Don't ask unless you're prepared for the answer...or for tears...or for a sarcastic laughter that attempts to hide the tears.

How am I doing?  Well, it's been 17 months, 3 weeks, and two days since we started this adoption journey.  It's been 9 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days that we've been on the official wait list.  I've seen "deadlines" that we have set for ourselves come and go with not even a glimpse into the reality of when that referral day will actually be.

Ever since Christmas we've been patiently waiting for that rush of referrals we keep expecting.  It's now the second week in February and we've had...maybe two???

We've had our hopes dashed time and time again, and yet somehow we press onward.  Why?  Because our daughter is waiting for us on the other end.  Because I would cross the ocean time and time again to bring her home (and realistically WILL).  Because God has called us on this journey and each day when I think I can't possibly wait a moment longer...He is teaching me to be more patient.

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful
{Lyrics from Brooke Fraser's "Faithful" which you can play below on my playlist}



Becca Harley said...

oh, megan - my heart is crying and longing with yours. 12 months on the waitlist, or 9 months - it all hurts. Praying so hard that I can move you one step closer to your precious one, and praying for peace for both of us:). Wished we lived closer so I could give you a hug

Mindy said...

I feel for you and understand!!! Every time I see a bunch of e-mails on the listserv I get SO excited thinking that a referral was given. Praying for you friend!!

Love that song, btw! :)

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you. It's certainly a journey worth waiting for, but waiting can be so very hard. Hugs,


Alison said...

Girl, I cannot even imagine...I know how hard it is at #60! Can't even imagine how hard it is at #6! Praying! And I love the lyrics of that song!!

Debb said...

I'm so with you, girl! To be so close!.....yet so far.....almost within reach!.....yet feels just beyond our grasp......feels so exciting!......yet we have to protect our heart and not get too carried away.....it's hard. no way around it. HARD! A friend of mine sent me an email about butterflies. The timing was perfect for our waiting. Too long to write here, but maybe if you visit my blog and read it, it might help you during this time too. Sending you one big hug, hoping it will fill you with refreshment! :oI

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

A mommy's heart....it is soo hard...praying soon. PRAYING!

Brandi said...

Just wanted to send a quick note to encourage you! We too are awaiting a referral and we too have seen dates come and go as we moved through the process. Along the way we kept reminding ourselves that although it would wipe our savings clean this adoption was what God was calling us to do... so we moved forward. And even though it has officially taken WAY longer than I hoped and dreamed... we have been given a beautiful gift of God's promise to reward the faithful, 1 Samuel 26:26. Most of our adoption expenses are being covered by a generous gift. This would not have been possible if we had gone on my timeline... Thankful for God's timeline and now I am WAITING some more for news of a referral.
Praying for all the ET families who are waiting!
Love and Prayers to you!

Future Mama said...

It WILL be worth it in the end!! I'll be praying...

Much love,
Future Mama