Where Am I?

It's a fair question.  I finally started getting back to kinda normal posting speed and then dropped off the face of the planet, right?  I just want you to know I haven't given up on this blog.  I'm not going anywhere.  The explanation is simple - I ran out of photo storage and I'm trying to figure out the next step!  I need a tech-y friend to walk me through this, not gonna lie.  But stay tuned, our family just had a photo shoot done so new pics ARE coming!!!! =)

We're Headed Back!!!

WOW - what a whirlwind of a week this has been!!!  Thank you all for being patient in waiting for an update...I have barely had time to breathe.

Well, as you know....we were waiting on T's new birth certificate and passport so that AGCI could submit our file to the Embassy.  We were very disappointed when on the 7th of this month, two families from our travel group got the call that their file was at the Embassy...and the rest of us got an email saying our was not.  =(  We chalk this up to the fact that the Ethiopian Government doesn't have necessarily a pattern for processing these things...like they always say: in International adoption...you have to expect the unexpected!!

It was a looong week waiting for our phone to ring....Monday being the hardest of them all.  We were SO desperate for some news, and even though we KNOW that God's timing is always perfect, sometimes it can be very hard to wait on that perfect timing.

Well TUESDAY, JUNE 14th - my phone rang and it was our caseworker on the other end!  We were THRILLED to hear that our file had been submitted to the Embassy, but we knew this just meant that now we would be waiting for the call with the review.  In adoption world, you are waiting to hear news that you need to wait to hear news.  Seriously.  This can be REALLY hard.  Especially when you are counting the hours since you last touched your daughter.  To make matters worse, only PART of our travel group got word and we were still waiting for one more family to get their file submitted.  My heart was breaking for them knowing they were probably looking at another WEEK!  Ugh.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15th - 8:30am and my phone rings....with K's caller ID showing up!  I picked up the phone to hear a pretty mellow voice and thought FOR SURE she was calling to tell me that my princess was sick.  She asks how I am doing and I tell her I am fighting a sore throat.  K tells me, "Well you better get rid of it FAST because I have good news!!!"  She was calling to tell me that the Embassy had cleared us!!!!  "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!" was all I could say through my tears.  Normally, I cry in preparation for something big, and definitely after-the-fact....but in the moment I am pretty calm.  I just think that after she prepped me that I wouldn't be hearing until Friday under the best circumstances, I was in such complete shock that I could NOT control my emotions!  K was totally understanding and promised to email me all the dates she was talking to me about so I could keep them straight.  She told me that at this point the earliest Embassy date available was the 27th and they were fighting for that one.

Just as an added WOW - I think we set a RECORD TIME of receiving our Embassy review!  And even though I think 5 families were submitted the day before, we were the ONLY ones who heard back the next day!

THURSDAY, JUNE 16th - K calls me with CONFIRMED dates, and we book our tickets to Ethiopia!  What a huge sigh of relief to know the exact day our daughter will be in our arms FOREVER!!!!

So the countdown is ON - the ticker is now switched...

In SEVEN days from TODAY we will be holding our daughter in our arms....FOREVER!!!!!!

As excited as we are, the unfortunate part of the story is that tickets for this trip cost us $3,000 MORE than our last one!  We are trying not to stress, as we know that God will provide...but I would be lying if I told you that finances weren't always in the back of our mind right now.  So to help cover the cost of our FINAL trip to Ethiopia, we are doing a weekend fundraiser with our Ordinary Hero store!!!

Through Tuesday, they are having a fundraising blitz, and the affiliates that make the TOP 3 SELLERS will win a $500 grant ON TOP of the 40% proceeds we get!!!  So PLEASE!!!  Go check out their store and their AWESOME merchandise....they have everything from clothes, to shopping bags, to tumblers, to donations for children in Africa that ALL help us raise money to bring our daughter home!  Just choose "Domesticated Diva" as your affiliate (in the drop down menu during checkout) to ensure we get the credit.  Then when you show off your shirt, or coffee mug....you can say that the purchase of that item helped to bring a child to her forever family!!!  How cool is that?!?  So PLEASE go RIGHT NOW and do your shopping....we would appreciate your support SOOOO much.

If you can't support us in this way, we ask that you would go choose one item from the store that you like, and share the link to it on FB and spread the word on how they can help us!  That will help get more people to our store and hopefully help us raise enough money to pay for those tickets!!!

{And as always, you can feel free to donate directly to us by using our paypal button on the right side bar.}

Above all though, we ask for your prayers as we embark on the final leg of this journey to our daughter!!!  We have a huge transition ahead of us, but mostly for her.  This little lady has gone through a lot of loss in her short life, and we pray daily that God is preparing her heart to accept us as her new family and trust us to care for her needs.  We can't WAIT to share her photos with all of you!!!!

GREAT Way To Start Our Day!!!

It started with a text from Brittany (a friend in our travel group)....

"Did K call you??"

I quickly responded, "No, good or bad?"  Literally AS that sent, the phone rings....Darcee!

"Did you see Brittany's facebook post?"

"NO!  Is it good or bad?"

Fast forward to a couple minutes into that conversation and my OTHER phone rings - "DARCEE - I'm hanging up!"  I pick up my other phone...

"Hi Megan it's K, how are you today?"

Tentative excitement...."good..."

"Are you ready to be GREAT?!?!"

In short, our MOWA LETTER MADE IT TO COURT!!!!  We are now court approved - they are just waiting on our testimony to make it official!!!  Ahhhhhhh!!!!!  I don't know what was more exciting....the referral call or this one! =)  All three of us here are GIDDY with excitement and we just couldn't WAIT to share it with the rest of you!

PRAISE GOD!!!  Oh how LONG we have been praying that this letter would pull through before we leave!  We are so in awe of our AWESOME God!!!  THANK YOU prayer warriors!!!!

Preliminary Hearing Results

I apologize for not posting this sooner!!  It started off as a post combined with my Mother's Day pictures...but a combination of not having access to my pictures, Blogger maintenence, and Blogger EATING my posts (yes, I was one of the victims of Blogger Consumerism...hehee!) so here it is nearly a week later and I'm just now posting the results of our Preliminary Court Hearing!!!

So to start off let me shout out a big THANK YOU!!!!! -->  That's me at the TOP of my lungs thanking all of you prayer warriers for lifting up our family, our T, and her birth mother Sunday night/Monday morning!!!  THANKFULLY T's birth mom made it court just fine and testified.  Everything went smoothly except for one tiny, completely expected, but entirely disappointing piece of news.  The MOWA letter wasn't there.  =(  Big boo...  But we know God is completely capable and we once again just have to turn it over to HIM!  NOTHING we can do can change anything.....except - PRAYER CHANGES THINGS!!!  So once again we ask that you lift this up to our loving a CAPABLE God that the MOWA letter will be there by May 23 for our court date (and preferrably sooner - like MONDAY would be great =)!!!

For those of you who completely feel in the dark with all this adoption talk...
The judge at the court hearings has a sort of checklist and before he or she can approve our case and make T legally our daughter, everything on that checklist has to be checked!  (We would NOT have to travel for another court date even if that letter doesn't make it, they just need to see us once...but it would cause significant delays.)  Birth mother testimony - check!  All other necessary forms of documentation - check!  MOWA letter - to be determined, Adoptive family testimony - check!!!  (Ok...not yet, but we know that will be a breeze.  Basically this is the purpose of our first trip....to MEET T, fall in love, and testify that we want to move foward with the adoption!!)  So obviously if that MOWA letter is not there, she won't legally be ours yet and we can't move foward (having our paperwork submitted for the US Embassy for their review and approval to give T a visa and become a US citizen!) so it is CRITICAL that it make it there!  In just 6 days our little T will turn 5 months old...and SHE NEEDS HER MAMA!!!!!  Yes, she is content.  But as you well know....even the best of orphanage care is no match for the love of a FAMILY and a MAMA and DADDY who love you unconditionally!!!  Thankfully our HEAVENLY FATHER is holding her and won't let go!!! =)  That's really the only thing that gives me comfort in this wait.  HE loves her even more than I could ever love her!!!

So yeah!  That's it in a nutshell!!!!  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - prayer warriers we NEED YOU!!!  Pray for that MOWA letter!  And of course, we continue to lift up T's birth mom during this difficult time AND our little T!  We don't know how this is affecting her emotionally, but we sure wish we were there to hold her though it.  We know she is young - but emotionally scarring at this age can be very damaging for a lifetime!  So thankful that our Father is the ULTIMATE HEALER!!!  We pray daily for peace for our Little Lady and that God will heal those scars.

Okay, okay!  I could go on and on and ON!!!!  But the truth of the matter is....I have BAKING to do, I have CLEANING to do, I have PLAYING to do, and I have PACKING to do!!!!  Here I go...

WOWEE!!!! POUR On The GREAT News!!!!!

There are SOOOOOOOO many things to be grateful for right now, I don't even know WHERE to start.  I guess I'll start here!!!

TODAY marks the ONE MONTH count down until we hop on that plane to meet our sweetie!  (I don't know why our count down on the top of the page doesn't agree...  Whatevs!!  We leave on May 18th which is one month from TODAY!)  I can't tell you how elated we are to have that trip coming on so quickly (and yet SOO far away..don't get me started on that).  Fortunately, this past weekend was our LAST free weekend until we leave.  Next week we have Easter plans, then I have a baby shower, then it's Mother's Day weekend (and possibly ANOTHER baby shower), and then that last weekend is only 3 days before we leave...so I think we'll be PACKING!!!!  Ahhhh!!!!!!  Even though a month from now FEELS like an eternity, I know time will pass quickly.  So YAY!!!

SECOND piece of good news is that our friends Chad and Tarah are in Ethiopia RIGHT NOW picking up their little L & M to bring them HOME!  Last night, Tarah got to meet OUR little T and send lots of love her way....so of course NOW I am looking forward to pictures and video of our little sweetie once Tarah makes it home. =D  You should DEFINITELY go check out their blog and congratulate them =)

THIRD piece of good news is that I have tallied up all the entries for my Ordinary Hero GIVEAWAY and picked a WINNER!!!!  There were 32 total entries (WOW!) for this awesome freebie....THANK YOU to everyone who entered!!!  So fun to be able to give something back - you all give SO much to me in prayers and encouragement and even in fundraising!!!  Love it!!!!  So I cut paper into evenly sized little pieces (and threw away any crooked or torn ones...just to make it EXTRA fair!!!) and wrote each entry person's name on them...and MONKEY was SUPER DUPER excited to help me choose a winner!!!  (Just ask Brittney, who was on the phone with me as Monks was pulling the bowl off the counter and tossing names on the floor just for fun!!! =)

Monkey mixin' up the names (after I did a bazillion times, of course)!

Pickin', pickin'!

"This one mama!"

Congratulations Rhaut @ Just Love Orphans!!!!  

I will be contacting you shortly to get your address!!! =)

Our winner is a HUGE supporter of Ordinary Hero and has even met the founder herself!  I think that's pretty awesome that after all she's given to help raise awareness for this amazing ministry (and even served in Africa with Project 61 and visiting orphanges) that she gets an amazing freebie like this!!!  Go check out her blog and be blessed!  

Thank you "Rhaut" for what you do =)  (P.S. I feel lame that I still don't know you're REAL name =)

And THEN of course Monkey wanted to get a little CRAAAAAAZY!!!!!!  He started diggin' his hands in that bowl and picked out three more names for me (but sorry, I have no more merchandise to give away =) before throwing them all over the ground!!!

Using a cloth to pick up his mess ;)  What a SILLY BOY!

One-by-one

And last but DEFINITELY not least piece of AMAZING news......................................................

.................................................IS...............................................THAT....................................................................................................................................................................

...........THANKS TO YOU.........

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE WON THE ORDINARY HERO GRANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU made us the #1 SELLER!!!!!

From Wednesday through Sunday you bought $1199.04 of merchandise, in which we received a commission (towards our adoption) of $479.62!!!!  That put us in the #1 spot (only $60 in sales above the next affiliate) earning us the $500 grant!!!!!  

I am BLOWN AWAY you guys!!!!!  I never actually thought it was possible for us to win that.  I thought I had already pestered the poo outta you with my shirts and headbands and that YOU had felt has "done" with this whole fundraising thing as I was.  But you guys responded in an INCREDIBLE way and lit a FIRE under my butt!!!!

Our goal before this weekend was to raise another $2000 so that we can be DONE fundraising...and you guys got us almost halfway there....IN JUST ONE WEEKEND!!!  So after you get all your fun new Ordinary Hero gear...come back for MORE - because O.H. is coming out with a new SPRING LINE!!!   (And I just KNOW you are going to love their comfy clothes as much as we do!)

AHHHHHH!!!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU

THANK YOU!!!!!

.....PHEW!  That is a lot of great news for one email.  =D

The Armor of God

The adoption process has been described as a roller coaster for many years...before we even thought seriously about the matter!  Although there has been its share of ups and downs throughout our entire adoption journey, the term "roller coaster" has never felt so true as it has in the last six weeks.  I can hardly believe the strain these ups and downs have had on my mental state.  Speaking TRUTH {in form of the Living Word} into my life has never been more essential for my daily state of mind.

If you've been following my blog for some time now, you might remember the emotional #1 post, when my friend Kimberly and her husband took themselves off the girl's list and passed on that top position to us.  You definitely will remember our Referral post when T's little face turned our world upside down {in the best way, of course}! You surely must remember my desperate cries when we begged you to sign the petition after MOWA's big announcement {because I only shared it on FB several times a day to remind you}!  And then the joy I could not hide on the day we got our court date and bought our tickets to Africa!!!

Although the MOWA storm calmed quite some time ago, just two days ago, a newly released update resurfaced our fears.  I tried not to panic and kept myself busy with projects around the house {and if you've been wondering about my silence, I have been purposely separating myself from the computer}.  Then yesterday, there was a conference call with USCIS and the U.S. Department of State to discuss their findings on the Ethiopia program from their January 2011 trip.  Although I was unable to be on the lengthy 3 hour call, my friend Angela took great notes {that I would encourage you to read}.

Despite my feeble attempts to see the bright side in things, I feel weary...numb even.  After all the ups and downs we have experienced over these last weeks, I don't think I have the energy to process any more.  And we're not alone!  Every family adopting from Ethiopia right now, whether through AGCI, Holt, AAI, Gladney, Bethany...or any other agency, is experiencing this together.

When I finished my reading through Ephesians today, this passage spoke to me, and I wanted to share it with each of you.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in your place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."  Ephesians 6:10-18

Our adoption is in obedience to a direct calling from our Heavenly Father.  The devil wants nothing to do with God's will.  He does not want the best for us.  He wants us to FAIL.  He wants us to feel defeated.  He speaks lies to us to make us doubt and fear.

Although I do worry about what the future looks like in terms of our wait to bring T home, I refuse to give in to the devil's schemes by feeling fearful and defeated.  I want to put on the armor of God by daily picking up that Bible and speaking TRUTH in to my life.  The truth that God's ways are not my ways, but they are perfect.  The truth that HE loves and and wants what is best for me {and my daughter}.

Hopefully we have just skimmed by before the cutbacks.  AGCI sent us THEIR notes on the conference call as well, and they have been led to believe that if a family already has a court date, then their case was filed with the courts before March 8th, meaning their case would be expedited.  That would include us then!  But even with that glimmer of hope, my heart is heavy knowing that those following could be facing some significant delays.

This hits especially close to home.  The next baby girl referral after our family happened about two weeks after we got our call.  Which would have been our call, if Kimberly hadn't taken herself off the girl's list.  Not only would that have meant two more weeks of waiting...but we would still be waiting for a court date right now and then dealing with the cutbacks on top of it!  I'm a little bit in awe of how God's timing has worked for our family and for our daughter and so THANKFUL.  

Every big milestone in our journey has happened right before a major change.  We were the last family put on the girl's waitlist in the 40's, for example.  If we would have been placed on that list a week later, we would have been in the 50's or higher!  A month after being put on the waitlist, the Ethiopia program changed to the two-trip policy.  And now this.  It BLOWS. MY. MIND.  God is so good to us....and yet it leaves me wondering, why us and not them???  But there is nothing I can do but rest in HIS will and be thankful for His blessings in our life!

I still ask that you keep our May 23rd court date in your prayers, but I also ask that you keep the Ethiopian Adoption community in your prayers.  These are tough times, but God is faithful and will bring us all through.  My prayer is that we will ALL be REFINED IN THE FIRE and able to spark a new generation of adoptive families!

COURT DATE!!!!!

I interrupt these regularly-scheduled blog posts to announce that....

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!!!!!!!

While I was at Monkey's doctor's appointment today {asthma related issues} my phone kept beeping!  Even though there is a strick "no phones" rule in the office, I pulled it out to see what all the commotion was {I should have known}.  Several texts...

Brittany - "Call me if your free!!!!"

Ashley - "Did you get a court date too?!?!"

Stop right there!!!!  COURT DATE?!?!  Britt got her referral THREE DAYS before me and we turned in our referral packet ONE DAY after her!!!  That means we GOTTA get the call today, right?!?  Right.

I ran {drove} as fast as I could to pick up Monkey's prescriptions in a panic {partly because I had just noticed that my license expired on my birthday a few weeks ago...AHHH!} and then quickly home, hoping to be there when she called so that she wouldn't wake up my sleeping husband {long, busy night}.  I walked in the house and it was QUIET.  I had half expected the phone to be ringing as I unlocked the door!  I quickly went to check the call log and saw that HE HAD TALKED TO K while I was at the doctor's appointment!  Not only had he forgotten to call me {he was sleeping, I remind you} but he was sleeping NOW so I couldn't even talk to him!  Fortunately, there was a "court date follow up" email from K that gave me all the vital information.

We will be in our daughter's birth country by May 20th for a court date of May 23rd!!!!  This is SUCH a SPECIFIC answer to prayer....both in the fact that we got our court date...and the timeline!!!!  PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Immediately I started crying and RAN to Monkey and started hugging and kissing him with TEARS streaming down my face.  He kept asking "what's wrong mama?" and I smiled my BIGGEST grin and said, "nothing's wrong baby...mama's crying because she's HAPPY!"  Then I told him he would get to go to grandma and grandpa's house so mama and daddy could go see baby sister in Africa!  THEN he got a smile on his face.

Ahhhh!!!  This is really happening!!!  Rejoice with us today!

To our Lil Miss - we're coming!!!!!!!

Petition. Prayer. Pass It On.

This post has been in the making for several days.  However, it was supposed to be the "day after the referral" and the "next steps" post.  But my excitement has been stifled by some potentially devastating news, and our "adoption timeline" has now turned from somewhat predictable to unknown.

Although rumors have been floating around the adoption community for more than a week, we have been praying (and continue to do so) that they were not true.  But this morning, Kiersten (our caseworker) called to inform us that the Joint Council on International Children’s Services (JCICS) confirmed that MOWA (Ministry of Woman's Affairs) in Ethiopia intends to cut down their caseload by 90% by taking only 5 cases a day rather than the 50 or so they were taking on.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with what this all means....let me briefly describe to the best of my abilities.

Now that all of our referral acceptance paperwork has been submitted to AGCI, the staff in Ethiopia can now submit our file to the Ethiopian courts to open our daughter's case.  Then we wait for our court dates.  The first one is for the birth family, police, ect. to relinquish rights of the child and the second is for us to attend after we have met our daughter and decided to proceed with the adoption.  During the court process, the judge has a "checklist" of sorts.  AGCI has never had a family not pass court indefinitely, however, if everything on that "checklist" is not there, they will be rescheduled for another date...and another...until they do pass.  One of the items on this checklist is a letter from MOWA (they review our file and the child's file and they need to write a letter to the courts in our favor for us to be approved).

So as you can see, this huge of a reduction in case load could delay our adoption process (and many, many others) by months or even years.  Even typing those words stings.  It's unfathomable to think that after a year and a half of waiting to see T's face, that she could be forced to grow up institutionalized for that amount of time.

Why is all this happening?  MOWA says it is to ensure ethical adoption practices.  Reducing their caseload would help them investigate each case more carefully.  While I completely support their ultimate goal of ethical adoptions, I (and pretty much the entire adoption community) do not think this is the best way to do that.  In fact, by cutting back this drastically and forcing children to wait THAT long to go home to their forever families....orphanages will be full in no time, with no room to take in more children.  And then what will happen to them?!?  I shudder at the thought.

But this isn't the say all, end all.  This doesn't go into effect until March 10th, and there is time to change their minds!  Almaz (our agency's orphanage director) will be meeting this week with MOWA's head hancho.  And in the mean time, JCICS has helped organize a petition to put a stop to this! 

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

James 1:27

We need to look after the orphans in Ethiopia and do what is in their best interest!  And that is NOT being raised in orphanages and transitional homes....that is in loving and stable homes with a family of their own. 

So as a desparate plea....for my daughter and many more like her...I ask you to do three things:

1) Petition - Sign the JCICS petition to the Prime Minister of Ethiopia, Meles Zenawi, to reverse this decision and find other means to ensure ethical adoptions through support of governments, NGO's, and foundations.  I hope you don't even have to take a moment to consider this.
2) Prayer - Please pray for the government officials and all in authority who are making life-changing decisions for these children.  Pray the agencies as they continue to strive to meet the demands of the Ethiopian authorities, advocate for the children in their care, and partner with these families to bring children home.  Please pray for adoptive families who are crushed at the news and have already endured an incredibly long journey to their children thus far.  And PLEASE...pray for the orphans!  The fatherless, the least of the least, those without a voice....pray that people would step up and advocate for them!
3) Pass It On - Please email, facebok, twitter, or blog about the petition!  Inform others how CRITICAL it is that we reverse this decision!  The more people we get to sign, the better!  PLEASE!

Furthermore, if you have already finalized an adoption through Ethiopia, JCICS asks that you would email them pictures and a short story about your adoption to present in their case against MOWA's decision.  You can find out more about that on their website.  ***UPDATE*** JCICS has shared via FB that they have received so many positive stories about Ethiopian adoptions that their server has crashed and has asked that you share them via FB!

For more information, or simply another insight, these are some more sites I would reccommend reading:
http://betheanswerforchildren.wordpress.com/
http://blog.beliefnet.com/redletters/2011/03/ethiopia-adoption-cuts-rumors-human-rights.html
http://sarahunderhill.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/ethiopian-adoption-ethics/
http://www.itstheroadlesstravelled.com/

Thank you in advance for fighting with us in this way!

WE GOT THE CALL!!!!! ...Am I REALLY Posting This?!?!?

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, Be strong, and let your heart take courage, Yes, wait for the Lord." 

Psalm 27:13-14

***Warning: this is LONG!  But GOOD!  =)***

Monday, February 28, 2011

I am in AWE!  I had a feeling about this week...Monday even...but I had no idea how PERFECT it would be =)

You see, my husband worked last night and needed to sleep this morning.  He told me early this morning that I was under STRICT orders NOT to wake up until at least 11AM (and ONLY if we got "the call")!  Was he trying to TORTURE me?!?  SERIOUSLY?!?!  It sure felt that way, but I agreed...with a huge frown on my face.

Sometime early this morning he crawled into bed, careful not to distrub me.  Shortly (I'm assuming) after that, I was awoken with this nervous-nauseous feeling that came on so fast it felt like a punch to the gut!  That, and I was FREEZING!  (Have I mentioned the crazy snow-wind-rain weather we're having in Seattle this week???)  I nudged at hubs until he curled next to me and wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm.  Suddenly I was so overcome with emotion I felt like his arms were the only thing holding me together.  It was almost like I couldn't breathe!  After the weekend I had...and then this morning...I was SURE today was the day!!  I barely stomached laying in bed until 8:00am, but then I got up thinking it would be perfect to get a shower in now so that I'd look at least somewhat pulled together if and when Kiersten (our caseworker) called! 

{TEXT: "Praying for you today!" - Ashley}

In the shower I prayed and prayed and prayed and pleaded with God and prayed some more....more and more until I felt my heart rate slow down to normal.  When I turned off the shower and stepped out, it sped right back up again - now I had to actually FACE the day! 

After I got dressed, I couldn't resist and went to check my email.  Right away I noticed an email from Kimberly (who was one ahead of us on the girl's list, as well as being #4 on the siblings list) that over the weekend they had made the decision to pull themselves off the girl's list and wait for siblings - WE WERE NUMBER ONE!!!!  (That was the point in which I posted the good news in my last post!)

After she called AGCI, Kimberly gave me a call and excitedly explained how God had brought them to their decision throughout the weekend - AMAZING!  I was just in AWE that someone could be soo close to the end like that and slow down and step away from it enough to HEAR God's change in direction! 

Kimberly, I am so GRATEFUL that you were willing and able to seek

HIS PLAN and I am BEYOND excited to see the little lives

that He has in store for your family!!!! 

Their decision was just one more stepping stone!

And THEN my phone was ringing off the hook (from mostly my family) with congratulations and "what's next?" questions!  They were on pins and needles almost as much as we were!  Little did they know, each call was giving me a mini HEART ATTACK!  I was jumpy, and shaky, and literally running to the bathroom every twenty minutes feeling sick to my stomach!  I'd waited THIS long....I knew I could wait another day, or even a week if I had to!  But I wasn't sure how long my BODY could take this...

Fortunately, I didn't have to.

Ahhhh!!!!!!

At 11:24 am (yes, merely 24 minutes after I was "allowed" to wake my husband) my phone rang....and my heart stopped.  I paused with my hand next to the phone waiting for the caller ID to register.  KIERSTEN.  As I held my hand to my heart, I could see Monkey's "c'mon mama" expression from the corner of my eye.  This is it!!!!  I picked it up.

Me: {in as smooth a voice as I could muster....which ended up sounding rather cholked up} Hello?!
K: Hi Megan, It's Kiersten from AGCI, how are you today?
Me: {still cholked up} Emotional!
K: {laughing} I understand.  ...I'm calling because we have a little girl within your parameters that we'd like to discuss with you, do you have a moment?
Me: {hardly able to breathe} yes
K: Great!  Is your husband there?  Should I conference him on?  Or did you want to take the call before talking to him?
Me: Just a moment, I'll go get him.  You know...he made me promise this morning not to wake him up before 11am!  I just can't believe this!
K: I have a knack for the perfect timing! {I could just hear her wink!!}
Me: Alright, just a second!

Can you picture me running into our bedroom and shaking my husband awake while hastily whispering "IT'S TIIIIIME!!!!  IT'S KIERSEN - WAKE UP!!!"  Can ya???  'Cause that's what I DID!!!  =)

Hubs quickly picked up the phone and groggily said "hello" and listened as K caught him up to speed.  In the meantime, I was throwing clothes in his direction and flipping on lights telling him in an oh-so-sweet manner to GET HIS BUTT OUT HERE while grinding my teeth in anticipation (I KNOW you can picture that, lol!).

Kiersten explained in detail some recent things that had come up with some of their medical testing in Addis...but in all honesty, as Hubs was asking great and detailed questions my mind was wondering, "How old is she? How much does she weigh?  What's her name?  Does they know of a birthmom?  What is the first thing I'm going to learn about my daughter?"  It's a good thing both of us were on the call, that's for sure!

Pokoyo...see?? =)

As she was finishing answer Hub's questions, she informed us that she was emailing us some documents and a picture of our little "T" now.  I stopped in my tracks as I repeated her name.  Over and over.  It was not one I had heard before, but I instantly recognized it as Ethiopian!  As it rolled over my tongue, it went from feeling unfamiliar and awkward to perfect and beautiful!  As we fumbled to set up our camera and get our son situated with some Pokoyo cartoons, Kiersten continued to tell us that our "T" is 8 weeks old and a teeny 6 pounds!!!  OH MY WORD - so tiny!!!!!!  I'm dying to see her!!!!!

During all this, hubs is growling that the camera won't read the memory card....WHAT?!?  So I toss him the smaller memory card out of the video camera...frustrated that we won't be able to use both.  (If this sounds awkward and complicated....then I'm portraying it correctly....it felt so completely silly to be dealing with these kind of mishaps at this point, but seriously!!  What were we to do?!?  Kiersten giggled at us and assured us that there was "no such thing as an organized referral call".  Okay then...there's just a lot of great writers out there who know how to embellish their referral story to sound that way then!  ;)  Well not ME!  This is REAL folks!  My mind was ALL OVER the place!  I was disorganized, and shaky, and all my electronics were messing up on me!)  So just as hubs gets the camera set up I get this BRILLIANT idea to record our conversation on the web cam!  But do you think it would cooperate??  NO!  In fact we had to RESTART the computer because it froze EVERYTHING!  ARGH!!!!!!  Okay...at THIS point I was FED UP!  I HAD to see my baby girl!  So video-less this would be!  And no...we don't have great pictures because that was just life.  But not like it matters....I think this moment will forever be ingrained on my brain just like Monkey's birth story!

Our cheeks hurt already!!!

Okay....so everything that's GOING to be working is working.  We log into our email and download her picture.  Let me tell ya - looking at your two month old daughter's face for the first time is the strangest feeling!  I'm gazing at her beautiful, but unfamiliar face...

Opening the email

"Oh she's so tiny!  Look at those eyes!  Babe - her little fingers...awww!!!  

She has so much hair!!!  I can't believe how little she is!"

First glimpse of my DAUGHTER!

He's in love...but OH so tired!

She looked nothing like I had imagined her to!  But how could you possibly dream up the perfect child that God had chosen for your familiy?  I certainly hadn't expected Monkey to look the way he did either, and yet now I couldn't imagine a more beautiful child!

Then suddenly - it happened!  I was in love!  As Kiersten was walking us through each separate document, I kept flipping back to her picture and finding one more thing I loved about her!  The way her curl flipped back in front reminded me of my Monkey.  Her tiny little lips that look just a tiny bit chapped - I just can't wait to kiss them!  Her feet curled up so close to her body - I bet she's a snuggler!  I can't stop gazing at her...I can't pull my eyes away from her face, those eyes just draw me in!  She's a stranger to me, and yet I love her.  Unconditionally and completely.  And each time I glance at her face, she feels just a little more like mine =)  Do I really have to wait to hold her?  How long will it be before I can smother her with kisses?

Can't stop smiling!

As Kiersten spoke, so many details stood out to me.  Her birthday: December 20, 2010!  Oh how I looonged for a Christmas baby....of course, I thought she'd be HOME by then, but God had other plans!  She was brought to Hannah's Hope on February 16th.  Her pediatrician report was filed on the 23rd - my hubby's birthday!  She loves eating - oh this makes my mama heart SMILE!  Baby Girl, you need to put some weight on!  Her name means "God saved her"!  Aww...this broke my heart and made me smile all at the same time!  Of course God saved you!  We need you just as much as you need us!!!  Of course there are many more....but we are choosing to keep those private for "T" to share someday with those she chooses.

"She's sooo beautiful!"

We are just in AWE!  I still can't believe that God chose US to be this little girl's parents!  And HOW MANY TIMES have I posted or reminded myself that "God is bigger than the numbers!"  We were technically number TWO!  If Kimberly hadn't pulled herself off that list today, we would not have our baby girl!  GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE NUMBERS!!!!  He will move MOUNTAINS!  He can and WILL do what it takes to bring a family together - it was in His plan from the beginning!

THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Another picture!  Awww!!!! {This one she's asleep!}

Lord, we thank you SO much for this little blessing!  

She is PERFECT and far more amazing than we could have ever dreamed!  

Thank you for being patient with me in my times of grief, in my times of anxiety, 

and in my times of doubt.  Thank you for loving me in spite of it all 

and choosing us to parent this precious child of YOURS!  

Please show us your mighty powers again so we can get her home SOON!  

Amen.

Can't believe we have a DAUGHTER!

"His unchanging plan has always been to ADOPT us into His family, by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ.  And this gave him great pleasure."  

Ephesians 1:5

The Post I Have Been Waiting To Post For...

...10 months, 1 week and 6 days!!!!!

WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!!!

First # of 2011!!!

Okay, so NEXT post will be about Christmas ;)  This was more important!

Just got an email from our case worker with our January number (for those of you also on the waitlist with our agency, it is a call month they are just sending out emails first so we don't have to wait for our call to know where we sit) and I was actually SURPRISED for once!  Because our agency's listserv keeps pretty close tabs on where families are on the list, it takes a lot to surprise us.  But not everyone on the waitlist checks in on the listserv, so there is always the chance we can be off a little.  So is the case this time around =)  {Unless I missed some huge news, which in case someone please correct me!}

We are THRILLED to announce we are now my FAVORITE number {except in this case 1 would be my TRUE favorite}, the most PERFECT number....

WOOHOO!!!  Of course, I thought we would be celebrating our referral by now.  But I guess the ONE thing you can expect in International adoption is the UNexpected!!!

One quick prayer request though!  My friend Niki leaves for Ethiopia for her son's court date on the 15th, and we would really love some PRAYER that Lord willing we would receive our referral by then.  If that was the case Niki could love on our little sweetie for us, hand deliver her care package, and take lots of picture for us =) 

You Want An Adoption Update?

What update?  Unfortunately, there's nothing to update.  We barely made it into single digits and we've been sitting steady since.  =( 

You may wondering why {NOW that we are so close} I sound so downcast.  I know we are close.  SO close.  I know that light is at the end of the tunnel.  But I have squint REALLY HARD just to see it!  We are close...but we are so far too.  After waiting 8 months to reach those single digits, I have never FELT it creep so slow as it has in the last couple weeks.

Part of that has to do with all the craziness going on in our lives right now.  My dad just had knee replacement surgery.  My mother-in-law is recovering from breast cancer surgery and facing a lot of unknowns right now.  After 3 years of construction on our fixer-upper house, we are finally getting started on Lil' Miss' nursery.  Overtime, overtime, and more overtime {which yes, is a blessing...an exhausting blessing}.  And of course, you can't forget that stress that holiday finances can put on you!  To stay that I'm overwhelmed is an understatement.

But in all that craziness, God is good.  My dad is about a week ahead of his recovery schedule.  My mother-in-law is in high spirits, has turned a corner in her recovery, and is talking with her doctor today about the next steps they will take on this journey.  The nursery IS started.  The overtime is paying for the nursery (and the post-holiday recovery).  And even though our budget may forever be on a diet, our BEST Christmas presents came in the form of generous donations to help bring our daughter HOME!

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, YOUR comforts delight my soul." 

Psalm 94:19

I'm overwhelmed, but I'm BLESSED!

My mom always had a little phrase for me in school to remind me where my priorities lie:

{Too Blessed To Be Stressed} 

I really wish I could FORCE that truth on my life right now.  The UNKNOWN begins to wear on you after a while.  I can say with all my heart that I am at PEACE about God's timing in bringing our daughter into our family {for now...we all know that could change day to day...but I thank God that His peace has washed over me}.  If her referral would have come in MY timing, we would have been celebrating with one breath and crying with the next as we were dealing with my mother-in-law's breast cancer, specifically.    Hopefully God's timing will mean we can celebrate WITH ALL OF OUR BEINGS her little life! 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presnet your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 4:6-7

God has his reasons for these delays, and I am THANKFUL that HE is the one in control.  I can't WAIT to see what He has in store for us in 2011{does THAT feel wierd to say, or what?!?} and I pray it includes a January referral for us.  {Even in my peace, I can't deny that I am READY to see her face!}  I'm trying not to get my hopes up...because my hopes for a Christmas referral have been dashed a little...but I do think this is our month.  WHY?

Well...I've got a little inside scoop from our agency's listserv.  Hannah's Hope is FULL!  A few weeks ago we heard that there were 32 babies aged 0-13 months.  WOW!  Since they DON'T overcrowd our agency's orphanage {like unfortunately, most orphanges are} they have not had room to accept new children, except in emergencies.  WELL....  One family traveled the week of Christmas to bring their sweetie home.  Five families traveled over New Year's {one family with THREE children} and will be coming home in a few days.  And EIGHT families are awaiting confirmation from the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia to travel January 10th.  Once all those families return home, that will be 17 beds opened up in Hannah's Hope that I'm SURE will be filled rather quickly.  Before you get TOO excited, keep in mind there are THREE lists {boys, girls, siblings} and we are {unofficially} #8 on the GIRL'S list.  So every referral won't move us.  But with 17 beds opening up, I'm thinking our chances are looking pretty good!

Keep praying with us because we are READY to see that sweet girl's face!  But even after we do, we will still have to wait another 3-5 months to bring her home.  ALL in God's timing! 

Surgery Update

First of all, please let me say THANK YOU, from the bottom of our hearts for the outpouring of love and prayer from all of you!  We have been overwhelmed {in a good way} with all your sweet comments and feel so loved during this difficult time. 

Surprisingly, it hasn't been that big of a challenge to entertain our Lil Monkey today.  We took along many of his new Christmas presents {more on that later} that he opened last night so he has had a BLAST playing with all those!  Plus, his presence has been a welcome distraction from our anxiety.  All your prayers have been felt as we have been filled with peace during our wait.

We just got word that mom got out of surgery at 2:40pm {about 6 hours} and that things went well.  The doctor said that she's doing great!  Dad just went in to see her for the first time and said she looks great and they are just trying to keep the pain down.  She is limited to one visitor at a time for the moment.  We look forward to seeing her!

Please continue to pray as this journey has just begun!  But thankfully, she is not fighting this alone - we are all in it together!!!

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me,Your comforts delight my soul."

Psalm 94:19