You may wondering why {NOW that we are so close} I sound so downcast. I know we are close. SO close. I know that light is at the end of the tunnel. But I have squint REALLY HARD just to see it! We are close...but we are so far too. After waiting 8 months to reach those single digits, I have never FELT it creep so slow as it has in the last couple weeks.
Part of that has to do with all the craziness going on in our lives right now. My dad just had knee replacement surgery. My mother-in-law is recovering from breast cancer surgery and facing a lot of unknowns right now. After 3 years of construction on our fixer-upper house, we are finally getting started on Lil' Miss' nursery. Overtime, overtime, and more overtime {which yes, is a blessing...an exhausting blessing}. And of course, you can't forget that stress that holiday finances can put on you! To stay that I'm overwhelmed is an understatement.
But in all that craziness, God is good. My dad is about a week ahead of his recovery schedule. My mother-in-law is in high spirits, has turned a corner in her recovery, and is talking with her doctor today about the next steps they will take on this journey. The nursery IS started. The overtime is paying for the nursery (and the post-holiday recovery). And even though our budget may forever be on a diet, our BEST Christmas presents came in the form of generous donations to help bring our daughter HOME!
"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, YOUR comforts delight my soul."
Psalm 94:19
I'm overwhelmed, but I'm BLESSED!
My mom always had a little phrase for me in school to remind me where my priorities lie:
{Too Blessed To Be Stressed}
I really wish I could FORCE that truth on my life right now. The UNKNOWN begins to wear on you after a while. I can say with all my heart that I am at PEACE about God's timing in bringing our daughter into our family {for now...we all know that could change day to day...but I thank God that His peace has washed over me}. If her referral would have come in MY timing, we would have been celebrating with one breath and crying with the next as we were dealing with my mother-in-law's breast cancer, specifically. Hopefully God's timing will mean we can celebrate WITH ALL OF OUR BEINGS her little life!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presnet your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
God has his reasons for these delays, and I am THANKFUL that HE is the one in control. I can't WAIT to see what He has in store for us in 2011{does THAT feel wierd to say, or what?!?} and I pray it includes a January referral for us. {Even in my peace, I can't deny that I am READY to see her face!} I'm trying not to get my hopes up...because my hopes for a Christmas referral have been dashed a little...but I do think this is our month. WHY?
Well...I've got a little inside scoop from our agency's listserv. Hannah's Hope is FULL! A few weeks ago we heard that there were 32 babies aged 0-13 months. WOW! Since they DON'T overcrowd our agency's orphanage {like unfortunately, most orphanges are} they have not had room to accept new children, except in emergencies. WELL.... One family traveled the week of Christmas to bring their sweetie home. Five families traveled over New Year's {one family with THREE children} and will be coming home in a few days. And EIGHT families are awaiting confirmation from the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia to travel January 10th. Once all those families return home, that will be 17 beds opened up in Hannah's Hope that I'm SURE will be filled rather quickly. Before you get TOO excited, keep in mind there are THREE lists {boys, girls, siblings} and we are {unofficially} #8 on the GIRL'S list. So every referral won't move us. But with 17 beds opening up, I'm thinking our chances are looking pretty good!
Keep praying with us because we are READY to see that sweet girl's face! But even after we do, we will still have to wait another 3-5 months to bring her home. ALL in God's timing!
12 comments:
Sending some encouragement your way! I can't imagine what the wait for us will be like. I feel impatient now with finalizing our dossier. And that's really when the wait begins....
I struggle too, but when I really struggle I look back at some of the best parts of my life...all were brought to us because of God's timing. There is no other explanation. His time is BEST for us. That brings me peace to remember other points in my life He made something amazing happen.
Praying for your family with some of the medical challenges lately.
Loving the last part of your post!!! There's such a need and we are thankful to be a part of God's mission. Hang in there....referral time is soon!!!
One Less
Erika
i found it got soooo much harder the closer we got, so i know how you feel... we went through a few months of only moving 1 spot and that was TORTURE! there should be a BUNCH of movement very soon! i can't wait to read your good news!
I am praying that there will be lots of referrals this month, too. You're getting so close, and I know that God has great things planned for both of our families SOON!! 2011 will be an awesome year!:)
It has been a sloooow, long, hard month for me sitting at #61. I can't imagine how you feel. Praying that January is your month!! :)
God really does have amazing timing..when we found out we were due in January it seemed like strange timing and so many people mentioned how nice it would have been to have a Christmas baby. Well, God knows best and knew I'd be preparing for Christmas mostly on my own and that we'd lose someone we loved dearly on Christmas day so instead He is allowing us to grieve now and celebrate soon. I am thankful that joy comes in the morning and I know that if He can orchestrate such wonderful timing in our lives He most certainly can do it in yours. God bless you, we'll be praying for your little joy too!
So excited for ya'll!! So ready for the those referrals to start coming!!! Surely, it won't be long now!!
We are praying for you in the rest of your adoption journey!! I cannot imagine the emotions that you are feeling with everything going on in your life. This week was also hard for me because (although very excited) my sister-in-law and really good friend welcomed their little girls into the world. As much as I know we are only 9 weeks +/- away from welcoming Westyn home it still makes it hard. Praying hard for you guys and cannot wait for when we can get together with the newest additions :)
I feel a referral coming on this month for you guys. With just enough time to finish her nursery.
AMEN! I think it's time to start nesting! : )
The referrals will be coming soon...they just have to!!! Love that you posted Phil 4:6&7. We have a scripture each week for the girls that we have them memorize and discuss. This was one of the first we put up after we started this process. I refer back to it often.
The referrals will be coming soon...they just have to!!! Love that you posted Phil 4:6&7. We have a scripture each week for the girls that we have them memorize and discuss. This was one of the first we put up after we started this process. I refer back to it often.
Being #5 for an infant boy and #9 for two kiddos, and having been for more than TWO MONTHS!, I TOTALLY get what you are saying! The closer we get the harder the wait becomes, esp when things are moving so slowly!
Now, add all else you have going on and your feelings of being overwhelmed are understandable for sure! Hang in there, and cling to what you know. GOD's plan for you and your family is GOOD! We are NOT going to miss out on the exact child/ren He has planned for us all along....because NOTHING can thwart His divine plan!
Hang in there, with all that is on your plate. May you see your sweet daughter's face very very SOON! And who knows, maybe we will be in ADDIS at the same time and can meet in person! Blessing to you!
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