Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Anxiety

I was doing so good!!!  WHAT is this adoption DOING to me?!? 

Seriously ALL week and all DAY even I have felt really calm and peaceful about the whole thing {the "thing" of course being this adoption and the CRAZY longer-than-an-elephant's-pregnancy wait}.  But right now?  Right now I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack.  My heart is pounding.  My palms are sweating {despite the fact that my feet are ice cold and its a measly 65 degrees in our house}.  I'm feeling a little bit crazy, in all honesty.

I won't pretend to understand these gigantic and and OUT-OF-NOWHERE moodswings{? for a lack of a better word...} but I can tell you I am ready for them to be over. 

Even though I've been expecting it for what seems like FOREVER...my life is about to change in the drop of a hat....and I have no idea WHEN that drop IS!!! 

Moodswings.  Hormones.  Nesting.  Anxiety attacks.  NO DUE DATE!  Does my husband know what he's in for?!?
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10 comments:

Erika Reiner said...

I can't even imagine. Keepin ya in thoughts and prayer!

Courtney said...

We're nowhere close to "the call" and I have already experienced 1 or 2 of these! OH NO! Praying for you as you wait.

3childrenbyfaith said...

Keeping you in my prayers as you wait!

Jon y Amy said...

Having never gone through a physical pregnancy, I don't have anything to compare it to, but I was a mess! I talked with several mothers who had bio kids and adopted kids and they said that there hormomes were just as crazy if not more crazy during their adoption waits. If you are physically pregnant, you at least get to keep the baby with you all the time, he is never outside of your sight.

So take courage during your "heart pregnancy". :) It is rough. My husband was kind of bewildered the whole time because I was so emotional. :)

Amy

Lara said...

I am praying for you.

I struggle with anxiety attacks myself and they are horrid. Lately, I've had that looming fear of getting pregnant that you had a while back! Especially after our case manager told us that if someone gets pregnant their adoption is TERMINATED! Not that I was planning on it, but I'm pretty darn fertile, so you never know.

Brandon and Kari + 1 said...

I hear ya Megan...hang in there...my mind constantly turns to our adoption too!!! It's just mother nature...praying that you received that call very very soon :)

mom vg said...

Hugs from mama...I ache for you baby!

Jed and Amanda said...

I know that anxious, going crazy feeling and we are also no where near getting "the call." I actually spent 2 hours reorganizing my pantry and another half hour organizing my spices today just to try to keep my mind off the waiting. You are not alone in your feelings.

Hang in there!

Laura said...

I Corinthians 14:33

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.

2 Thessalonians 3:16

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

Colossians 3:15

*Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Debb said...

Hey, Girl! I SOOOO understand your mood swings as you are so close to getting the call! We just word that the general timeline for an infant boy referral has been lengthened. SO, next week was going to bring us to the end of the projected 4-6 mos wait, and now we have to be open to the fact that it could take 2 more mos! Heartbreaking, when we thought we were so close! Hoping it doesn't go a full two months longer, since we are #4. UGH! Praying God lifts your anxiety and lightens your heart. Pregnancy hormones can suck. Good thing God is there to lift us when we feel heavy-hearted.........