Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Armor of God

The adoption process has been described as a roller coaster for many years...before we even thought seriously about the matter!  Although there has been its share of ups and downs throughout our entire adoption journey, the term "roller coaster" has never felt so true as it has in the last six weeks.  I can hardly believe the strain these ups and downs have had on my mental state.  Speaking TRUTH {in form of the Living Word} into my life has never been more essential for my daily state of mind.

If you've been following my blog for some time now, you might remember the emotional #1 post, when my friend Kimberly and her husband took themselves off the girl's list and passed on that top position to us.  You definitely will remember our Referral post when T's little face turned our world upside down {in the best way, of course}! You surely must remember my desperate cries when we begged you to sign the petition after MOWA's big announcement {because I only shared it on FB several times a day to remind you}!  And then the joy I could not hide on the day we got our court date and bought our tickets to Africa!!!

Although the MOWA storm calmed quite some time ago, just two days ago, a newly released update resurfaced our fears.  I tried not to panic and kept myself busy with projects around the house {and if you've been wondering about my silence, I have been purposely separating myself from the computer}.  Then yesterday, there was a conference call with USCIS and the U.S. Department of State to discuss their findings on the Ethiopia program from their January 2011 trip.  Although I was unable to be on the lengthy 3 hour call, my friend Angela took great notes {that I would encourage you to read}.

Despite my feeble attempts to see the bright side in things, I feel weary...numb even.  After all the ups and downs we have experienced over these last weeks, I don't think I have the energy to process any more.  And we're not alone!  Every family adopting from Ethiopia right now, whether through AGCI, Holt, AAI, Gladney, Bethany...or any other agency, is experiencing this together.

When I finished my reading through Ephesians today, this passage spoke to me, and I wanted to share it with each of you.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in your place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."  Ephesians 6:10-18

Our adoption is in obedience to a direct calling from our Heavenly Father.  The devil wants nothing to do with God's will.  He does not want the best for us.  He wants us to FAIL.  He wants us to feel defeated.  He speaks lies to us to make us doubt and fear.

Although I do worry about what the future looks like in terms of our wait to bring T home, I refuse to give in to the devil's schemes by feeling fearful and defeated.  I want to put on the armor of God by daily picking up that Bible and speaking TRUTH in to my life.  The truth that God's ways are not my ways, but they are perfect.  The truth that HE loves and and wants what is best for me {and my daughter}.

Hopefully we have just skimmed by before the cutbacks.  AGCI sent us THEIR notes on the conference call as well, and they have been led to believe that if a family already has a court date, then their case was filed with the courts before March 8th, meaning their case would be expedited.  That would include us then!  But even with that glimmer of hope, my heart is heavy knowing that those following could be facing some significant delays.

This hits especially close to home.  The next baby girl referral after our family happened about two weeks after we got our call.  Which would have been our call, if Kimberly hadn't taken herself off the girl's list.  Not only would that have meant two more weeks of waiting...but we would still be waiting for a court date right now and then dealing with the cutbacks on top of it!  I'm a little bit in awe of how God's timing has worked for our family and for our daughter and so THANKFUL.  

Every big milestone in our journey has happened right before a major change.  We were the last family put on the girl's waitlist in the 40's, for example.  If we would have been placed on that list a week later, we would have been in the 50's or higher!  A month after being put on the waitlist, the Ethiopia program changed to the two-trip policy.  And now this.  It BLOWS. MY. MIND.  God is so good to us....and yet it leaves me wondering, why us and not them???  But there is nothing I can do but rest in HIS will and be thankful for His blessings in our life!

I still ask that you keep our May 23rd court date in your prayers, but I also ask that you keep the Ethiopian Adoption community in your prayers.  These are tough times, but God is faithful and will bring us all through.  My prayer is that we will ALL be REFINED IN THE FIRE and able to spark a new generation of adoptive families!



Joe and Deanna said...

Love your post! Thanks for sharing your own heart and encouragement. Praying for you!

Amy said...

We were in the same situation with the 2 trip policy. If we would have gotten our referral a day or two later, we would have had to travel twice. We were so thankful to get in before the change, but really felt for all the families behind us in the process and I really feel for all of you going through the process right now!

Angela said...

Amen! Praying!!!!!

Nancy said...

Great post Meg :)Thank you!

Nancy said...

Great post Meg :) Thank you!