The Armor of God

The adoption process has been described as a roller coaster for many years...before we even thought seriously about the matter!  Although there has been its share of ups and downs throughout our entire adoption journey, the term "roller coaster" has never felt so true as it has in the last six weeks.  I can hardly believe the strain these ups and downs have had on my mental state.  Speaking TRUTH {in form of the Living Word} into my life has never been more essential for my daily state of mind.

If you've been following my blog for some time now, you might remember the emotional #1 post, when my friend Kimberly and her husband took themselves off the girl's list and passed on that top position to us.  You definitely will remember our Referral post when T's little face turned our world upside down {in the best way, of course}! You surely must remember my desperate cries when we begged you to sign the petition after MOWA's big announcement {because I only shared it on FB several times a day to remind you}!  And then the joy I could not hide on the day we got our court date and bought our tickets to Africa!!!

Although the MOWA storm calmed quite some time ago, just two days ago, a newly released update resurfaced our fears.  I tried not to panic and kept myself busy with projects around the house {and if you've been wondering about my silence, I have been purposely separating myself from the computer}.  Then yesterday, there was a conference call with USCIS and the U.S. Department of State to discuss their findings on the Ethiopia program from their January 2011 trip.  Although I was unable to be on the lengthy 3 hour call, my friend Angela took great notes {that I would encourage you to read}.

Despite my feeble attempts to see the bright side in things, I feel weary...numb even.  After all the ups and downs we have experienced over these last weeks, I don't think I have the energy to process any more.  And we're not alone!  Every family adopting from Ethiopia right now, whether through AGCI, Holt, AAI, Gladney, Bethany...or any other agency, is experiencing this together.

When I finished my reading through Ephesians today, this passage spoke to me, and I wanted to share it with each of you.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in your place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."  Ephesians 6:10-18

Our adoption is in obedience to a direct calling from our Heavenly Father.  The devil wants nothing to do with God's will.  He does not want the best for us.  He wants us to FAIL.  He wants us to feel defeated.  He speaks lies to us to make us doubt and fear.

Although I do worry about what the future looks like in terms of our wait to bring T home, I refuse to give in to the devil's schemes by feeling fearful and defeated.  I want to put on the armor of God by daily picking up that Bible and speaking TRUTH in to my life.  The truth that God's ways are not my ways, but they are perfect.  The truth that HE loves and and wants what is best for me {and my daughter}.

Hopefully we have just skimmed by before the cutbacks.  AGCI sent us THEIR notes on the conference call as well, and they have been led to believe that if a family already has a court date, then their case was filed with the courts before March 8th, meaning their case would be expedited.  That would include us then!  But even with that glimmer of hope, my heart is heavy knowing that those following could be facing some significant delays.

This hits especially close to home.  The next baby girl referral after our family happened about two weeks after we got our call.  Which would have been our call, if Kimberly hadn't taken herself off the girl's list.  Not only would that have meant two more weeks of waiting...but we would still be waiting for a court date right now and then dealing with the cutbacks on top of it!  I'm a little bit in awe of how God's timing has worked for our family and for our daughter and so THANKFUL.  

Every big milestone in our journey has happened right before a major change.  We were the last family put on the girl's waitlist in the 40's, for example.  If we would have been placed on that list a week later, we would have been in the 50's or higher!  A month after being put on the waitlist, the Ethiopia program changed to the two-trip policy.  And now this.  It BLOWS. MY. MIND.  God is so good to us....and yet it leaves me wondering, why us and not them???  But there is nothing I can do but rest in HIS will and be thankful for His blessings in our life!

I still ask that you keep our May 23rd court date in your prayers, but I also ask that you keep the Ethiopian Adoption community in your prayers.  These are tough times, but God is faithful and will bring us all through.  My prayer is that we will ALL be REFINED IN THE FIRE and able to spark a new generation of adoptive families!

7 Weeks!!!!

And nooo....not 7 weeks along!!!  I know this is April Fool's Day and all....but as much as I love a good joke, this is a completely SERIOUS manner for me:

7 weeks from TODAY my daughter will be 5 months old and we will be meeting her for the first time!!!! =)  I can hardly believe that after 18+ months of dreaming of our daughter, that I am finally saying that!  And no, it doesn't feel real yet.  SHE feels real...but her becoming part of our family still feels like a fantasy.  After all, how can someone "feel real" when you have yet to hear their cry, or kiss their lips, or caress their tiny fingers.  Or even seeing their face IN PERSON with your own two eyes!!!  It reminds me very much of being pregnant...feeling that squirm of a tiny being within you and yet life with a baby still feels unimaginable.  (Except that even with that thought I feel jealous....I would do anything to feel her squirm.)

If you would have told me a year ago I would be waiting this long to hold our daughter at last, I probably would have cried.  And although I've shed many tears for many different reasons...I've learned a new meaning to the phrase "His ways are not my own".  Never has it felt more personal.  Never have I been more thankful for that truth.

Psalm 40:1-5

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.  

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.  

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done.  The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare."

Goosebumps

I have goosebumps running up and down my arms {and not just from this frigid weather we're having} thinking about what is going to be transpiring in the next week or so.  THIS WEEKEND, my friend Niki along with 16 OTHERS will be traveling to Ethiopia!  While there, 7 families will be picking up their precious kiddos and taking them home.  FOREVER!  The other 10 will be meeting their children for the first time and attending court dates.  17 families!  Isn't that INCREDIBLE?!?  Not only are all these children being placed in loving, God-honoring families...but taking their place in the outstanding Hannah's Hope {our agency's orphanage in Addis Ababa} will be more children, possibly even my daughter.  It breaks my heart to think of what the move to Hannah's Hope will do on their little hearts {for most of them it will be their 2nd or 3rd move...each time those moves take them away from everyone and everything they have known and grown to love}, but PRAISING GOD that each of them gets the opportunity to receive the amazing care Hannah's Hope is famous for, and to be loved on by each of those special mothers. 

It could be any day now, and it could be another couple weeks yet.  Only God knows.  I am just continuing to rely on HIM for my strength and patience and hope every day until I see that sweet face {and many, many days beyond that, of course}.

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.  Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3

Convicted:

Have you ever read something that hit you straight to the core and just convicted you?  I just had a moment like that.  All this time I thought those distractions were good for me.  Good for my sanity.  But what if those distractions are forcing me to miss out on some real God moments?  Is my obsession with adoption blogs taking place of the quality time I should be soaking in with my two-year-old?  Soon he will have a baby sister home and absorbing much of my time.  What can I do TODAY to show him how much I love him?  What about my husband?  Has adoption, and the wait, and the listserv, and fundraising taken up so much of my brain that he feels left on the backburner?  Maybe all this time spent trying to be "informed" is consuming me to the point that I'm missing out His quiet whispers and that personal time with my Savior.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

James 1:27

James 1:27 in The Message reads this, "Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world."

But I still prefer the version from my Bible, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and fautless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

The pastor at our church has been preaching on James for the last month or so...really good, really heart-opening stuff.  His sermon on this verse Sunday left me in tears (big surprise) and I just had to share the basics of it (because there was SO MUCH MORE than what I am touching on)...I hope it does you justice Pastor Bob! 

I've always loved James 1:27, especially since beginning the journey of adoption, but the way PB (as we SCC folks know him) broke it down really gave me a new look at it.

First we need to put the emphasis on GOD the FATHER!  "Religion that GOD THE FATHER accepts as pure and faultless..."  HE is the one who determines whether our religion is acceptable or not.  HE is the one who sees our hearts, hears our prayers, EVALUATES whether we are actually DOING and not just saying.  Its not whether WE think we have done well, or even other's opinions of our relationship with Christ...only God knows the inner workings of our heart.  Only HE is pure and faultless, so therefore only He can determine whether our religion is pure and fautless.

True religion is PURE.  What does "pure" mean anyway?  (Taken from Webster's Online Dictionary.)
Unmixed with any other matter.
Free from dust, dirt, or taint.
SPOTLESS, STAINLESS
Being thus and no other: SHEER
Free from what viatates, weakens, or pollutes.

True religion is FAULTLESS - unstained, unsoiled.

Think about gold being purified in the fire....it's not easy!  In fact, its IMPOSSIBLE....without God's grace!  Who can do this apart from HIM?!?!

True religion looks after orphans.  Think about what it means to "...look after..." orphans.  What does that mean for us as Christians?  Who are the orphans of the present day?  I think the obvious are abandoned children - here in the United States, in your own backyard, across the world in a 3rd world country...  But then there are children that are neglected or starving.  Kids who's parents are in jail or rehab.  UNBORN CHILDREN abandoned and unwanted by their parents.  We need to look after them too!  How?  Adoption is probably the obvious one you expect from me.  Child sponsorships, foster care, water projects (like Christmas Water...started by a group in my church), adopt/build a third world orphanage, sponsor adoptive families, start adoption grant funds in your church to help families pursuing adoption, PRO-LIFE MINISTRY (in a practical and loving way).  There are practical ways to apply this to our lives.  Look around at the need!

IF ONLY 7% of the Christians today adopted....there would be NO MORE orphans in the world!  Check out this break down.

God our FATHER wants us to care for the FATHERLESS...doesn't that just show the heart of our God???

True religion cares for widows in their distress.  Think of what it would feel like to be in their shoes.  You just lost your spouse - your lover, your best friend, your partner, your companion.  You are lonely.  YOU are left to deal with the funeral, the mourning, comforting your children.  Then you are left with the financial burden...not only the cost of the funeral and burial, but then you alone are responsible to care for your family.  After years of relying on your partner you have to figure it out for yourself, while carrying on with daily life.  You want to keep things as normal as possible for your children, but you are HURTING!  Your car breaks down - your husband used to fix it.  Now you need to bring it to a shop.  Who can you rely on?  Parent-teacher meeting are coming up and your kid's having a hard time in school.  You used to be a stay-at-home-mom and now you have to go back to work...how will you manage?  And THIS is just an example here in the United States (and of my worst fear).  Imagine a 3rd world country.  (Read this post...there is paragraph in there about a woman sitting in her hut....)

What kind of widows do we look after?  1 Timothy 5:3-4 (The Message) says, "Take care of widows who are destitute.  If a widow has family members, let them learn that religion begins at their own doorstep and that they should pay back with gratitude some of what they have received.  This pleases God immensely."

How will we recognize widows who are in need?  1 Timothy 5:6 (The Message) says, "You can tell a legitimate widow by the way she has put all her hope in God, praying to him constnatnly for the needs of others as well as her own."  1 Timothy 5:9 says, "...They must be over sixty, married only once, and have a reputation for helping out with children, strangers, tired Christians, the hurt and troubled."

What would it look like if we poured love into these women so that they could blossom and pour love into their families and others around them.  What kind of impact would that have on our world?  (When you check out that link above please be sure to browse around Andrea's blog...such an amazing woman with a heart for God and his people.)

I've told you before about WIPHAN (WIdows + orPHANs = WIPHAN).  I think its an amazing ministry...and imagine if we applied it HERE as well...with the widows in our own backyard! 

True religion keeps one from being polluted by the world....or as PB calls it, a "spiritual environmentalist"!  =P  If we fully intend to LIVE OUT this passage, we have to guard our HEARTS from the pollution of our ungodly world.  Yes, we are sinful by nature...and there is only one cure: the precious blood of Jesus! 

In PB's conclusion he said this, "When it comes to the social concern for the fatherless, widows, and for moral purity, GOD IS SERIOUS.  Care for orphans and widows is commanded."  As Christians we are called to be MORALLY DISTINCT from the world - and Jesus set the example for us Himself.  Follow HIS lead.

Thank you, PB, for your sermon on Sunday and for stirring our hearts.  We long to have a heart like Jesus.

1 Peter 3:4

It should be that of your inner self,

the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

which is of great worth in God's sight.

1 Peter 3:4

Word Filled Web

courtesy of http://www.the160acrewoods.com/